BATON ROUGE, LOUISIANA

Traditions Gears Up For Varla Merman

Lynette from Chalmette, a head majorette and valedictorian of the Chalmette Grace, Charm, and Beauty Academy, is back from a whirlwind tour of the tri-cities area-Bunkie, Baker, and Baton Rouge. This sweetheart has the motto of "If you can't be an athlete, you can be an athletic supporter." I hadn't seen her since Mardi Gras when I photographed her with the mighty Xena as they sashayed by the Ambush balcony during the bead toss, and it was so nice to run into her at Hibiscus Bookstore after her appearance at a local fundraiser. She is so busy with all her appearances that she hardly ever gets to relax. She will most probably be in town this week to catch her very good friend Varla Merman's performance at Traditions. Varla at Traditons! Wow! This is going to be a fantastic performance! If you've never seen this wonderful "lady" in all her glory, check her out when she hits the stage Oct. 3. It will be a night you will long remember. Mama Ethel would be so proud of her illegitimate daughter.

Some of the Ambush gang-Rip, Marsha (on crutches), Toni, Sonny, and yours truly, paid a surprise visit to Baton Rouge last week, and it was a wonderful and rewarding evening which started at the Hide-A-Way and continued to all the other important bars in our city. We spent some especially quality time at Traditions which I have continually told my readers is the Deep South's most spacious and beautiful dance emporium. You can't experience a better dance facility unless you go to Atlanta or San Antonio. Everyone at Traditions was so very nice to all of us-Obry, Hair, Vickie (famous for her hot nipples), Doc John, and, of course, the most beautiful collection of bartenders you will find anywhere.

Let me repeat that. I said ANYWHERE! Beautiful Todd, handsome Javier, dynamic and wonderful Mickey (who I hear won the wet boxer shorts contest), Big Jim, and Forrest, a very shy little country boy, made everyone feel so much at ease. We can't begin to thank you all enough for your fine hospitality for it was greatly appreciated by our group. I do have to tell you more about terrific Todd. Sweet Todd literally charmed the pants off the entire New Orleans group, with the exception of Toni, who goes for that other variety, and Marsha, who is a one-man woman.

Another highlight of this visit was to the Mirror Lounge and a very nice stage show. It was the Miss Baton Rouge Universe contest under the sponsorship of LeShay Productions, and it was thoroughly enjoyed by everyone in attendance. This was a dandy Candi LeShay extravaganza and featured four beautiful candidates: Dominique DuNoire, Tasha Rae, Mercedes St. Jon, and Syria Synclaire. The very beautiful Mercedes St. Jon won the coveted crown. Other performers in the show were D.D. DeMarco, Maurice Kennedy, fabulous Courtney Cortez, and, of course, Candi LeShay. In the audience were two other dynamic performers, the pride of Jackson, MS, Miss Krystal Kane, and Baton Rouge's lovely Effie Marie. Master florist Ronnie was also there, and I believe he can be given credit for the very fine decorations that now adorn this establishment. Special thanks go out to gracious Lady Rhonda for all her kind words. You know royalty. We stick together through thick and thin, preferably thick and long. Right, sweetie?

Next I have to tell you about that great reception we also received at Don's Blue Parrot. I refer to Don only because other half Tom was at home taking care of other things, and precious Don was working his little buns off. Queen Terry, sweet Gene, A.J. (my favorite cowboy), Darren, Fluffy, Steve, Mr. Bill, Herb, and lots of other regulars were there to make our visit so nice and special. Gorgeous Greg was the bartender of the evening. Never to be outdone, Richard (over at George's) came flying out to the parking lot to welcome our group. He is such a nice and warm human being, and his little Guy was there to give us that honor treatment too. MY entourage finally got to meet the beautiful Shane, who I refer to so often in this column, and co-worker of the evening, delightful Doug, George's top-notch manager.

Lots of people were at George's on this particular night, and I noted that Michael of Mobile had made his way over and was all smiles at the Auburn win over LSU. In fact, Michael had breakfast earlier in the day at Christina's with Damon, Danny, dynamic Denny Do-Right, and another gorgeous Mobile stud, Ron.

Denny Do-Right is still doing all the right things to make Bal Masque XVII the big event for next year's season. It's Feb. 6, 1998, a Friday night, at the LSU Assembly Center, and it is going to be a fabulous show. Our captain, with the able assistance of his co-captain Joe, has scheduled lighting technicians who are responsible for work on some of the finest shows in New Orleans, and it will be a delightful and much-improved evening for all attending. The costume sketches are fabulous, and several costumes are almost complete as we go to press.

The Time Zone was another stop on our evening's schedule, and we got to see and hear about all the changes going on at this establishment. James was especially cheerful, and he and Sonny had a blast. When you are out and about, stop in for a visit here. James did have a wonderful shirt on, but it's really not quotable in a family newspaper, so I'll leave it to your imagination.

Bartender Shane, that most beautiful of beauties, celebrated his birthday at George's recently. This sweetheart got another year older, and I'm sure he got a little sweeter too. Hope this was your night of nights, precious child. I think you are one great little man, and it's a pleasure to have you as a friend.

Another birthday boy was that fabulous and devilishly hand some Tom (of the Blue Parrot variety), and his celebration was a big one over at this Oklahoma St. establishment. He is just one of the nicest guys you will ever meet-and the very best redhead you could ever desire.

I also have to tell you about some one very special who lives way out in the boonies-way out there in the country. His name is Don, and I didn't understand why anyone would want to live in foreign territory until I visited him and saw the spread he has. No, darlings! You misunderstand! I'm talking about his home and gardens. After the grand tour and a lot of chit-chat, I made my way back to BR realizing that I had just experienced the touch of a master artisan. From the exquisite layout of the home to the spacious and lush gardens, I found out the beauty of the man is there for all to see. It's called getting to know someone. From one kind of community leader to another community, he shines through brilliantly, a noble and generous man, young at heart and blessed with a spirit of giving. I may have to take that jaunt again. It was a most enjoyable and relaxing time for me.

Rick is another darling I haven't mentioned to you. Actually there are two, so I'll have to mention both, the new handsome boy in town and the pretty boy who always wows me with that sweet smile and boyish charm. Actually both are charming, but the new Rick has just moved here with his other half, and they are the settled type. The bar life doesn't do too much for them, and I've already been invited to their home, which is located in a section that is famous for happy people. All I can say to this Rick and his significant other is "Welcome!" and hope you enjoy our hospitality here in Red Stick and that home you have over in Ogden Park.

Now the other Rick has been turning me on since that first day I met him. It was quite funny when I found out where he lived. We had a great laugh. I had been there before, and I'm thinking I just may go there again. The old tenant left for greener pastures, a doctor I think, but the new tenant is more charming any way. Oh, what a small world we live in. The kitchen is to the right, and the bedroom is to the left. You should have seen his face when I described this. Rick, my sweet, I'll see you again soon.

There's another dynamic duo in town. For the time being, let me just tell you that Jim is a talented artisan, who, by the way, works for that great nursery located across from that post office on Coursey Boulevard, and he has started displaying his work at Hibiscus. His fabulous masks make great gifts, and you need to go by and check them out. Jim brought his businessman other half James over to meet me, and I do think they make a great couple. I just hope they like Baton Rouge. I know they enjoyed the Mr. and Miss Apollo pageant held at the Hide-A-Way. They're getting settled in and don't get out too much, so I'll tell you more about them later.

I'll also have to tell you about that new LSU connection who came into town from the West Coast. She has talked with me several times in trying to find out all about our community here, so I think she's going to fit in perfectly. She seems like a most intelligent young woman. She's so very, very nice.

I also need to tell you about Buck, from up Mississippi way. This young man was nice from the very first time I met him. He visits BR periodically, but when he's working, he's really pushing those elbows. I guess what I like about him the most is his openness, and his personality just spills over to everyone around. That's a rare quality in an individual. You can feel sincerity here. I forgot to ask him if he is involved in that historic group in Woodville. I did see him later at Traditions with that soft drink boy, but I dared not interrupt their togetherness. However, I anxiously await another meeting. And Brad, darling, I do hope you will be happy in Austin. Now I have an excuse for visiting that fair city. You will be missed by everyone here, but when the job calls, you have to go on to those greener pastures. I think you are going to be very happy there. Keep the Photodoc work up. You are a very talented individual, and you have a rare talent for capturing the perfect images on film.

I'm sure I've left something or some one out, but I do try to give all MY readers equal time with a positive look at community leaders and citizens of our capital city. I'd like to thank everyone for making my job such a pleasure. I am truly blessed for all the friends I have acquired and for all your kind comments on my work.