ON THE BOARDS
by GEORGE PATTERSON, New Orleans

AIN'T MISBEHAVIN'
Carlone's Dinner Theatre, 100 North Labarre Ave., Metairie, 504.838.9906.
Richard Maltby, Jr.'s Tony winning musical revue of the music, life and times of Fats Waller, is the premiere production of this new dinner theatre. Directed by Sonny Borey, with choreography by Karen Hebert, costumes by Debby Simeon, sets by Bill Walker, vocal direction by Derek Franklin and conducted by M. Joseph Caluda, it features Anthony Bailey, Troi Bechet, Heidi Jensen, Larry McDonald, Patrick Mendelson, Lawana Menendez, Danon Smith and Chris Wecklein. Opening New Year's Eve, it will run Thurs. - Sat., dinner from 6pm, curtain at 8pm; Sun., buffet at 11:30am, curtain at 2pm.

THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA
Saenger Theatre, 143 N. Rampart St., 504.525.2490; 504.522.5555; in Baton Rouge: 504.761.8400, or 800.488.5252. For groups of 20 or more: 504.569.1520.
The Andrew Lloyd Webber musical behemoth returns for a five week run. Directed by Harold Prince, and in its ninth year in New York and its tenth in London, this third national tour reunites the original London creative team. It starsBrad Little as the Phantom, Kimilee Bryant as Christine and Jason Pebworth as Raoul, with Julie Schmidt, David Cryer, Richard Reardon, Mary Setrakian, Steven Stein-Grainger and Betina Hershey. Tues.-Sat., 8pm; Sat. & Sun., 2pm, Sun., 7:30pm, with additional performances on Thurs., Dec. 18, 2pm; Mon., Dec. 22, 8pm; Mon., Dec. 29, 8pm; Thurs., Jan. 8, 2pm; Mon., Jan. 12, 8pm; and, Thurs., Jan. 15, 2pm. No performances Dec. 24 & Jan 1.

PSYCHO BEACH PARTY
True Brew Theatre, 200 Julia St., 504.522.2907.
Carl Walker revives this campy, zany Charles Busch gender bending satire on the 60's of several seasons back, now starring Becky Allen. Previews Thurs., Jan. 8, 8pm; Fri., Jan. 9, 8pm. Sat., Jan. 10, 6:30pm & 9pm-both shows sponsored by Krewe of Petronius (call 504.525.4498 for tix this night only); and, Thurs., Jan. 15, 8pm. Opens Fri., Jan. 16, 8pm. Performances are Fri., 8pm; Sat., 6pm & 9:30pm; and, Sun., 6pm.

IN THE WINGS

ARSENIC AND OLD LACE
Le Petit Theatre du Vieux Carre, 616 St. Peter St., 504.522.2081.
Joseph Kesselring's 1940's comedy about the crazy Brewster family, Abbie and Martha (who poison homeless men), Teddie (who thinks he's Teddy Roosevelt digging the Panama Canal in the basement) and Jonathan, a "sane" theatre critic. Kris Shaw directs. Jan. 31 - Feb. 14.

THE AMOROUS FLEA
Rivertown Repertory Theatre, 325 Minor St., 504.468.7221.
Elliot Keener directs this musical adaptation of Moliere's French farce, School For Wives, with book by Jerry Devine and music and lyrics by Bruce Montgomery, about an old goat who raises a young orphan girl to be his wife, with disastrous results-for him. Jan. 15 thru Feb. 8, 1998.

NOEL AND GERTIE
Southern Repertory Theatre, 3rd level, One Canal Place, 504.861.8163.
Rickey Graham directs and plays the lead in this Sheridan Morley entertainment devised from the words and music of Noel Coward which tells the story of the professional and personal relationship between two of this century's greatest stage personalities: Gertrude Lawrence and Noel Coward. Jan. 9 thru 25.